choices

today will be one to remember. remember the way things were before I really woke up, the way the sheets felt.
I unpacked some of my luggage, all the gifts for others and the gifts for me. found a new tshirt and some clean jeans.

I asked him if he missed me, he said yes. he added that he felt differently now after our most recent fight.

I don't want to remember the fight.

I want to start over, I don't want to end things, but I am not the only party involved in this decision. I will respect whatever he decides he wants. I hope

I will try to put these thoughts away until work ends, 6 hours of fake smiles.


- Posted from my iPhone

binge

I'm out of regular food
so I'm making frozen food

it's because I'm hungry
and I'm hungry becase I smoked
and I smoked for no reason just because I could

guys in silky tshirts look dumb

time to blog again

not right now, but soon, maybe tomorrow

ill get back into this

not for anybody but myself

shit fuck

my lease is up at the end of march

and as of yesterday i was to move in with jeremy and his other 3 roomates

but after the huge awesome fight we just had

i dont know..

i mean.. when and how we make up and who says theyre sorry is going to play a big role in how the next two weeks go.

apparently i cause all the fucking drama and problems in the relationship

so i always have to say im sorry

and today i said i was sorry for something i wasnt and i think that is the worst kind of sorry ever.

Do i cry? should i just go shopping and complain to melissa about it..? should i stay home and start digging myself into depression yet again?

for now im just going to smoke and let my cat claw my leg.. shes so cute..

foundations

so i joined a gym

and i really like going

.. thats weird...

on another note

this bugs me at about 6 on a 1 to 10 scale

wtf thats my hair!

civilization mother fathers!

i cant stop playing civ. 4

... ohh and yay new president!

if you pray, pray for ted kennedy

and for me to have enough money to pay my rent

blahh

its mlkjr. day so i wont have class tonight

but im still not going to sign up at a gym because its cold and im lazy?

i stayed in and cleaned up a little today

nothing serious just superficial surface cleaning

stuff i cant get away with like the trash overflowing or the litter box

eww

and i read the first chapter of my polisci book

boring 

i liked the teachers lecture  better

work and school tomorrow, exhausted just saying that.

ohh well

i worked hard for these responsibilities!